Love the Way You Lie

While reading the article "Battering and Physical Abuse" I instantly thought of the music video from the song "Love the Way You Lie" by Eminem and Rihanna (I included the link at the bottom of this blog). The song is about domestic violence and the music video shows an intense example of an unhealthy relationship to put it lightly. The video shows a couple (Megan Fox and Dominic Monaghan) who are trapped in an abusive relationship and although the article from the book tells us that women are "5 to 8 times more likely to be victimized by an intimate partner" this music video shows both the man and woman are both contributing to the abuse. The video starts with the couple cuddling in bed and within seconds they are wrestling each other and Megan spits into Dominic's face.

While watching the video and seeing the couple constantly emotionally and physically fight you wonder why doesn't one of them leave the unhealthy relationship? I believe the video does a very good job of showing the cycle of violence that is discussed in the book. The book states "first comes the buildup of tension when violence is brewing, second is the violent episode, and third is the honeymoon phase when men tend to be especially remorseful-- even horrified that they could have done such a thing-- and ask for forgiveness." The couple depicted in the music video goes through these phases multiple times and it appears to be an endless cycle for them. Something triggers off a fight (Megan found a phone number written on Dominic's hand) then they scream at each other until one gets pushed over the edge and commits an act of violence. The couple will be slapping and grabbing each other, and then within moments will be kissing and passionately making out. The honeymoon phase may be a bit overly sexualized in this video but at one point Dominic presents Megan with a teddy bear asking for her forgiveness. The cycle continues on and on and it shows how hard it may be to leave a relationship with someone you love, no matter how physically and emotionally harming it may be.

Fun Fact: I read somewhere awhile ago (when the video first came out) that Megan Fox donated the money she made from the video to a shelter for abused women and children.

Here is the YouTube link to the music video: http://youtu.be/uelHwf8o7_U

Divorce and Gender Division of Housework

After discussing the topic of "Gender Division of Housework" on class on Wednesday, I kept thinking of how housework was divided in my family and in other families that I am close with. I noticed how what I think is "normal" for my families division of chores and house work isn't normal for everyone else.
Growing up I never had to do chores on a regular basis. My mom would keep the house very clean and tidy and did all of the inner housework herself. The only time I was expected to "help" (I quote this word since we learned about the negative connotation it carries) was if a special occasion was coming up (a holiday such as Christmas) and I was only expected to dust the family room or vacuum for a little while. Many other families I know have weekly schedules of chores that the children are expected to complete and I always felt so bad for my friends when I was younger because I couldn't relate to the "torture" they were being put through.
 As I have gotten older and more mature, I am starting to realize now how much I took my mom and all the work she does around the house for granted. Helping me realize how lucky I was to have such a hard working mom is my boyfriend who's parents divorced when he was in middle school. My boyfriend lived with his dad all throughout high school and only has one older sister who moved out and was not around the house often. Due to the lack of women in his house, there is obviously a huge difference in the division of housework at his house compared to mine. He has been taught for awhile now to clean his own clothes and dishes, clean up after himself, prepare food for himself, and many other "chores" that my mother still to this day does for me. It's very interesting, at least for me, to see the difference in lifestyles between him and I due to the differences in our upbringing. My boyfriend is very independent and self-reliant, while I am still very dependent and rely on my mom for a lot.
I suppose the moral of this blog post is how big of an impact the division of housework can have on someone's future and although chores may seem like a pain when you are young, they can teach important values you will use throughout your life.